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I only have a few favourites in life…favourite food: shrimp (although they tell me I’m now allergic); favourite colour: yellow; favourite cartoon-movie: Disney’s Cinderella. I don’t have a favourite actor, book, season, song or perfume. BUT, if you asked me if I had a favourite comic strip, it would be the one above. I think it’s hilarious. I found it while preparing a church bulletin and I have never been able to forget it. It left such an impression on me that while praying with my husband, I almost snickered when he mentioned the Mark 4 account of Jesus being in the boat with his disciples. It was a very heartfelt, worshipful moment and all I could see in my mind were the disciples’ eyes popping out of their heads in pure horror and Jesus asking for five more minutes snooze time.
{Okay, okay…favourite person: my honey :)}
I’ve heard people say that “when Jesus is in the boat, you can smile at the storm.” I’m sorry, but that has not been my modus operandi – not for the last year or so anyway. Oftentimes, I look and feel more like the disciples in that comic: wild-eyed, panic stricken, faithless and wondering why in the world Jesus has taken a timeout during my crisis.
I know my dear friend doesn’t actually take a timeout. I don’t believe he is occasionally “in deep thought, or busy, or travelling…or is sleeping and must be awakened.” (I Kings 18). It only feels that way at times because I want to see results NOW. I want my problems to be taken care of so I can live the life I want to live – you know, the “life more abundantly” kind, minus the problems. Sometimes though, my friend just seems to take much longer than I care to wait on an answer, on a solution.
There is a song I like with one line that basically repeats itself: I don’t mind waiting on the Lord. Duwayne and I recently discussed the fact that waiting on the Lord is not easy and that we actually do mind (shhh). So, we changed the words to I’ll keep on waiting on the Lord; and we sing it heartily, piercing the quiet of our 2 a.m. devotion time as if God (and our neighbours) can’t hear us.
He does hear, though, and I believe he will answer me by satisfying my needs and desires – but in his time. It has been very humbling and surprisingly calming to come to the realization that I am on God’s schedule and at his mercy. In filing complaints with God, outlining my grievances and asking for his intervention over and over and over again, my outlook and approach to what I am experiencing has been changing, however slowly. Though somewhat obvious, I am realizing that he is the only one I can turn to; there is no other judge to whom I can appeal. This is the only system by which I am guaranteed any relief, any good outcome from my world of chaos. So, if I have not yet received an answer, then my only recourse is to wait for the one who can give it, to do so. This is what is humbling.
The understanding that my friend isn’t at all perturbed by my storm is what’s calming, allowing me to sleep in peace at night. Even though I have often responded like the disciples in the comic, deep down I know I don’t have to. Why should I be in a panic if God isn’t? He is as equally in control of my life when things are going well as when they’re not. As my husband pointed out during one of my depressed states, “God’s got this”. He doesn’t fumble the ball; he doesn’t miss the mark; there’s no “Oops, my bad” in his vocab; and he definitely has no need for 5 minutes snooze time. He’s in control, even when the creditors call on a Sunday. (They apparently don’t have a rest day).
But I do, have a rest day that is. My goal, however, is to endeavor to rest every day in the assurance that my problems have been heard and will be addressed. Until then, I will “await the calm,” (right, mummy?) Yes, folks, I’ll keep on waiting on the Lord to say, “Quiet! Be still!” to all this ruckus.
